The Modern Myth of Getting There

Drawing has been totally amazing the past few days. As an experiment, I wanted to see if I could draw freely in public. By “draw freely” I mean to sketch without concern that someone will notice you are sketching. That is one of the things I like most about getting older: feeling less like a rebellious cliche’ if I do something mildly eccentric like, say, draw praying mantis’ while standing in line to see Will Oldham play. Or curling into my theater seat and drawing a strange hatted woman and a hand holding an egg as I struggled to stay awake through several acts of somewhat dreamy and lulling music in a large dimly lit room.

Drawing in public has really blown my revisiting-art-experience…into a whole new…please, don’t say realm…don’t say dimension…um, out of the water. Blown out of the water.  I have already figured out why the unwatching scrutiny of strangers is a powerful tool in my quest for a satisfying relationship with making images. I can’t try to draw anyone particular pre-planned thing when other people are around…even momentary pre-planning is detrimental because if I try to draw a specific image I inevitably fail and I suspect that all the people who aren’t paying any attention to me at all whatsoever are keenly aware of my total shitty-artist-loserness. However, if I just draw whatever falls out of my brain and onto the paper via my hand, well then, how I can screw up something with no parameters or criteria? This is a little disjointed, I know. Here is a synopsis:

  • The less I try the more fun drawing becomes.
  • I have drawn 3 satisfactory – if not complete – images in the past two days. I have only substituted some 1/2 assed old drawing once. I haven’t done the math, but that’s a lot of drawings. I like them more and more. I am resisting the urge to only post those that I really love. But, at this point, I think that without the obligation I’ve imposed on myself, (to post proof of a daily drawing to this blog) I would flake out. Or start evaluating my drawings too heavily.
  • I seem to be settling into an every-other-day posting pattern. Which is excellent. Draw every day, post at least two drawings every other day. This less quotidian schedule will dissuade me from falling into the ‘Dear Diary’ mindset that I was so kindly warned against by some very pragmatic online columnist. Speaking of which, I’ve not marketed this project AT ALL. I’ve only offered one person unsupervised access (unsupervised mean without me sitting at the monitor with you, scrolling to the image I want to show and then x’ing out the tab) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that anyone could check this out. But, I’m a needle in a haystack and nobody is even looking for a needle. So, this still feels very private.
  •  What if people were reading this and I had no idea.


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