Warning: Creepy Banjo Hands

(This is an email to my coworkers. All of them. Consider it a new project.)


to everybody

show details 11:24 PM (1 minute ago)

Who wouldn’t open an email with that subject line?

A fool, that’s who. (No offense to anyone who may have been initially disinclined to open this email.)

And why would that person be a fool? Well, because then they would miss me practicng the banjo in whatever classroom is available, or, as often as possible, outside. But, not in segments that exceed 20 minutes. Which will be taken out of my lunch break.

So, all of you who I have spoken to about playing music together
(you know who you are) really need to take advantage of this fabulous opportunity to see my banjo hands (now, tell me that won’t draw a crowd!) and play some music. Have some fun. Whatever.

I’ll keep you posted on the whereabouts of the creepy banjo hands.

By the way, you can check my
b-l-o-g for a drawing of one of said hands.

___, will you teach me the elements of a rag? I’d really like to make one up, just so I can name a song, “Blue Rose Rag.” Of course, I could always just write a waltz with lyrics about an old floral dishtowel. Not that I know how to write a waltz. Um, can somebody teach me how to play a waltz? Maybe then I could write one.

Love you all –


Violin, flute, ukulele, mandolin, keyboards, guitars, bass, voice, stomping shoes, clapping hands.
Oh yeah, and a banjo.

A coworker today told me that my blog layout is “awful.” It’s true. I’m sorry.
I spoke to him briefly about how to “launch” some of the work that this endeavor has generated. He said, “Well, if you’re trying to sell something that’s only online, it doesn’t make sense to promote it in print.”
“Well, I’m not trying to sell something that’s only online.”
He looked confused, “What are you trying to sell?” He sounded a little suspicious. As well he should…
“Myself. The most brilliant undiscovered artist in Western North Carolina.”


Later, in true leftist-bullshit-artist fashion, I quoted Alan Watts. Saying quite confidently, “Well, Alan Watts would say that even things created by man are ‘natural’ as man is an extension of what we conceive of as nature.”
I am so full of it. I don’t even like Alan Watts. His voice bores me. In fact, the only thing I think I know about him is that he assumes even man-made objects to be natural. The funny thing is, I know this just because I remember a painfully-uninformed philosophical debate in front of a tattoo shop in Athens, Georgia in the Fall of 1999. It was brisk. I wore a pink scarf. The boy who I had a crush on had icky teeth from eating Cheetos. I had plastic wrap on my back to protect the big black bands that had begun to stretch across my shoulders. They talked about this whole man-made/nature thing. At the time, I thought it was preposterous, that even a landfill could be considered natural. I had a limited conception of nature.
I don’t know if Alan Watts even really thought that of said that. I haven’t thought about it in over a decade. However, I think now that it must be true. That whatever man creates is nature, just as that which arises ‘naturally’ is. In order to truly care about our habitats, we should probably stop seeing ourselves as either protector or villian. We have a really virgin/whore issue with Mother Earth. —————————————————————————-
—————————————–(cat on keyboard)
But, energy never really disappears. It just changes form. I believe that now, too. Simply because we are so often the force behind new forms, we feel that our mastery separates us from the unplanned folly of ‘natural’ environments. Nobody ever said nature was nice. —

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