Well, I might be in a little deep. I was about to write some big rant about simulation and simulacra and hyperrealism and re-presentation…a bunch of critical theory that would make all this a tidy little postmodernist cloud study. Maybe discuss some of the more abstract forms as a modernist deconstruction to the point of elemental structure, looping back around to surreality.

Like a Mondrian tree,
removed of all but the most bare characteristics
that define it as what it is understood as being.

Not even a cloud anymore…baby mermaid on a clown fish?

It would be easy to slather this project with convenient genre terms, ammunition for isolation and ridicule really…when in actuality I quit grad school after three months and so never made it as a critical theorist…and as far as art theory is concerned, well…who gives a shit?

Obviously, there are some elemental abstractions occurring, but I didn’t make them and so it’s not my job to explain them. That’s where people got into trouble…with all their explaining.

The most terrifying dream I remember having as a kid was of walking down our dirt road – the four of us – and as we were right between the Two Trees and the first fork in the road, well…I turned around and looked up at the trees that ringed the small clearing across from the pasture. It was almost dark and everything was loaded with shadow and hard with silhouette…and I looked up at the tree that, if the clearing were the face of a clock, well, the tree would have been at about two…and in the tree hung the brightest mirror, a small perfect oval…and when I looked up at it, and I was scared to look up…well, my family was gone and I was just a little kid on a dirt road, alone.

I miss my family, even though they aren’t far…we’ll straighten it out. After I told my mom I was going to sit down and write some postmodern theory to distract myself from circumstance…well, I had to call her back because it suddenly occurred to me that I may have, to her ears, sounded ‘grandiose’ or ‘hypomanic’ or some such…term of diminishment…

…in reality, I felt a little small and purposeless…the smaller I feel, the bigger ideas I try to wrestle…call it overcompensation…

Alphabet in Arch Form

I really did have a great synthesis of theory hanging in my head – involving Malevich’s Suprematism and fundamental extrapolation of forms dovetailed with a discussion of hyperreality’s inevitable course toward a self-sustaining state of dysreality and how the phenomena share the quality of being outside of the realm of human control once there is a fundamental framework upon which representations can grow and change in response to one another. Whatever.

The awful part came when I reached the uncomfortable conclusion that I am in a strange position of postmodernist opportunity and social responsibility. I think the thing that scares me most is that people seem to forget that people make products…but, we can’t make clouds with triangle cut-out patterns…

This blog is a product of a person, who really is a nobody…and that, to disrespect such a well-intentioned product of personal investment and inadvertent sacrifice, well – it reflects poorly on a person when they are overly critical of things they have no true sense of…I think the thing I have been trying to figure out since I was nine is this:

“Why do we continue to act in ways that are destructive to one another and our habitat? Why can’t we seem to stop?”

People say, “Oh, Faith – you’re so naive…
it’s just so complicated…”

Well, since nobody explains anything, I have decided that, No. It’s not that complicated after all.

Half the stuff that complicates things wasn’t even part of the picture a 1/2 century ago…

Like overseas manufacturing and hi-tech deep well drilling and crazy confusing healthcare systems and NEVERENDING WAR…and everything feels like a theme park…even the grocery store feels like a theme park…and all the money and weapons and NEVERENDING GREED AND POWER that drive all this…and, in the meantime, polar bears are starving and Iraqi kids are getting injured left and right and didn’t we already kill Saddam Hussein? How are we peace keeping if we are killing people and getting killed?

These are simple questions. Like little kid questions, teenager punker questions…over simplified reasoning. Well, sometimes things are simpler than we allow them to be. I

have always said that it’s important to try to be honest and do the right thing…

I am a total idiot, aren’t I?

The world ain’t wired that way, is it?

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